Telling Your Story

Lately I have been finding myself being obsessed with the idea of stories.  I realized that I absolutely LOVE stories.  I love hearing them, I love telling them, I love reading them!  Stories are the most basic way we communicate things about ourselves to others, to share our experiences, to share our lives.  Before written language, stories were the only way information got passed along in a culture.  So I started asking the question: "what makes the difference between a good story and a GREAT story?" I have had a lot of people tell me their perspective over the years, I've read a lot of books by a lot of experienced storytellers, AND I have heard a LOT of really good stories from people.  Now, before I get too far into this, I am going to tell you that this is not going to be a typical "Here's how to be a better storyteller" essay nor will it be a "I'm going to tell you how to be a better public speaker" lesson.  That can be attained by reading books or going to seminars.  No, this is going to be something different altogether.  I want to talk about the story you will tell about your life, more specifically the story we tell when faced with tough decisions.

Every day we are faced with decisions that may or may not directly impact our lives.  From where we decide to go to lunch, to whether we come home right away or swing by the gym after work, to whether or not we say hello to the coworker we pass in the parking lot on the way home at the end of the day.  Each decision leads to a different story we tell.  Our story reflects who we are, but keep in mind it's only that: a story.  It does not define us.  BOY do I wish I had learned about this long ago.  I guarantee, had I thought about decisions in terms of the story I would forever tell, I would have most definitely done things differently in quite a few areas of my life.  I wouldn't have taken some things as seriously as I did just as I would have taken other things more seriously.  I would have paid closer attention to the still small voice inside of me when it whispered "bad idea, don't do that" or "don't go there".  You see, when we tell our story we don't want to have to lie about any of it or be ashamed of any of it.  I truly think there is something freeing about being able to tell our entire story.  When life is easy, its easy to tell our whole story but when circumstances get difficult and decisions become harder and harder to make, it takes a lot more discipline to make the right decision... to be able to keep your story whole.  Take, for example, Joseph in the Old Testament of the bible.

The story can be found in Genesis chapters 37 then 39-45.  Joseph was envied by his brothers who, because of their jealousy, sold him into slavery.  God was with Joseph through it all and Joseph was quickly put in charge of the household of a wealthy Egyptian named Potiphar (prounced "Pot-eh-fur").  Joseph was faithful to God and did what was right and before long, Potiphar's wife took notice of him.  The bible describes Joseph, as a young man, as "well built and handsome".  That means he was a young stud and she wanted him.  She approached him time after time trying to get him to go to bed with her.  He kept doing what was right each time.  He even explained to her why he was not going to.  He said in Genesis 39:8:

'"With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care.  No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife." How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?"'

Basically he was saying "Listen, I've got a story to tell and what you're asking me to do isn't consistent with the story I want to tell because I want my story to be honoring to God. Oh, and by the way... you've got a story too ma'am.  What you're about to do is going to be a part of your story forever."  Well, Potiphar's wife was not too happy about that so she managed to frame Joseph and get him thrown in prison.  While down there, he met a couple guys and told them his story... his WHOLE story... the WHOLE TRUTHFUL story.  He tells them he's innocent and asks if there's anything they can do to help him out of there he'd be really grateful.  YEARS go by and Joseph, still faithful to God, is finally released.  He warns Pharaoh of a massive famine on the way and then gets made prime minister of Egypt to help prepare for it.  Fast forward, the famine hits and Egypt is the only nation that has food... in fact, has it in surplus. Other nations have to come to Egypt to buy food from them, including Joseph's brothers.  

See, Joseph's brother's had a story too.  When they sold Joseph into slavery they had to tell their father SOMETHING, so they lied and said he was eaten by a wild animal.  It absolutely broke their father's heart (37:35), and every day after that, they had see their father's broken heart, live with their lie, and the knowledge that their jealousy was the cause of his pain.  That was part of THEIR story.  So, when they came to Egypt, Joseph was faced with another decision... another choice that would affect the story he would tell.  He could choose to use his new position of power and exact his revenge, OR he could write his story in a different way by treating his brothers not like they deserved to be treated.  (Spoiler alert) Joesph decided to be consistent with his story. He forgave his brothers and the whole family reconciled.  They brought their father into Egypt and lived out the rest of their days together happily ever after.  
So why would I share that particular story?  There were a lot of examples of how each decision we make affects our story.  We can either choose to write our story consistent with our faith in God, or we could try and write our story apart from Him.  I've tried both and let me tell you... when I try to write my own story it turns ugly fast.  

Something that I realized (and the real reason that I am so interested in the idea of my story) is that because I am a single guy, every choice I make as a single man will eventually become part of my married story.  I will have to tell my wife my whole story and I really don't want to have to hide anything.  I want to be able to tell her my WHOLE story without changing anything or hiding anything.  Truth be told, (and I am being kinda vulnerable here guys, so please be kind) I am extremely unhappy that I cannot tell her certain things like "honey, I never dated anyone but you" or "you were my only love" or "you were my first kiss" or other things like that.  There's something incredibly special about being able to say it and not have to LIE about it!  I have a couple friends who CAN say those things and Oh how I envy them!  Just because you learn from things in your past and they helped make you who you are doesn't take away from the fact that they happened in the first place and will forever be part of your story.  

In addition to my story as a single affecting my MARRIED story, one day I hope to become a parent  When that happens my KIDS' stories will begin with me too!  The decisions I make will influence THEIR story, much like my parents' choices influenced MY story, and their parents' influenced theirs, and so on.  

Your story is not just made up of decisions in relationships... it can be from what church you choose, the reasons WHY you chose a certain church... what JOB you take... what you do if you LOSE a job... how you face difficulty and hardship, how you lean on God in the tough times AND the good... See not only will your decisions affect your story but others will SEE your story too:  your friends... your family.... your spouse.... your kids... as private a person as you might be, SOMEONE will still know your story.  SOMEONE will still know, even if that someone is God.  Chances are though, He's not the only one.

All I know is I am going to be MUCH more mindful of the fact that the choices I make today will be part of the story I will tell forever.  I know that I want to tell a story that will be honoring to God, that will be honoring to my future wife, and that will give my kids the ability to tell a much better story than I can.

-The Sailing Preacher