Entering the Unknown

A universal desire of people is for world peace. Millions of people have devoted their lives and Billions of people have invested money in humanitarian efforts in an attempt to further the cause of world peace. Why then are we still so far away from a utopian society? Simple, we're all too different. Each person sees the world through a different set of eyes, and many have a different opinion of how the world should look. Our individuality is the greatest hinderence to World peace but at the same time is our greatest asset as humans. Through our cultural differences, through our personal uniqueness, there is one unifying trait common to all humans: Fear.


Human fears can be bizarre indeed. A couple of the more common fears are: Acrophobia, a fear of heights; Arachnophobia, a fear of spiders; Coulrophobia, a fear of clowns; Isolophobia, the fear of being alone. Some of the more peculiar fears include: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, or the fear of long words; metrophobia, a fear of poetry;Arachibutyrophobia, the fear of having peanut butter stuck to the roof of one's mouth; and one of the strangest of all, Zemmiphobia, fear of the great mole rat. One fear that I believe to be common to all people, to one degree or another is Xenophobia, or the fear of the unknown.



What is it about the unknown that makes us so afraid? Is it the fact that we cannot control what we can not be certain of? Is it the possibility that we cannot prepare ourselves for what we cannot predict? It's no small wonder to me that people spend so much money on TV psychics, and Magic 8 balls, and other things of the like. However, the unknown doesn't just refer to the future but instead also to things of the present and even the past which we do not understand. Why, for example, when my dog walks in front of a fan does he point his butt towards it and do a dance? I have no idea. Or why does he eat with his back right leg up? I have no clue. Or why does he feel the need every day to bark at the American Flag waving in the neighbor's yard first thing in the morning when he goes outside to do his business? I don't think I'll ever know. Those things are funny and don't really bother me. It's the other types of the unknown that scare me deeply.



A couple weeks ago, my buddy Jeff and I drove to Kansas City for two reasons. One, because my brother is going to school there and we wanted to visit him, and secondly because there's a top notch seminary out there and I wanted to investigate. When we arrived, I had amazing first impressions. Clean campus, nice part of Kansas City, friendly people, well organized, very welcoming, everything you'd expect and then some. We were immediately greeted and got to meet with an admission Representative who was able to answer every one of my questions, most of which before I even had the chance to ask them. We went on a campus tour and I fell in love with Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. After the tour was finished and Jeff stopped marvelling at the fact that the entire campus has WiFi (yes, even in the middle of the fields), we left and went to visit my brother at UMKC, some 10 miles south of where we were. We picked him up from his dorm and the three of us went to the Plaza. For anyone who's never heard of the Plaza, it's essentially a cultural center for Kansas City. It includes restaurants, theaters, shopping, apartments, and the like, and it's all very high quality stuff. Anyway, we walk around and do some window shopping, and as we emerge from a store, though I cannot remember which one it was, I suddenly felt overwhelmed. It dawned on me that I will be graduating from college in 6 weeks, and the prospect of moving to Kansas City was completely terrifying.


Interestingly enough, I have no problem entering the woods filled with a bunch of strange guys holding high powered rifles, and knowing full well that many of these men have been drinking. I can go to South America and talk to strange people about Jesus, often a sensitive topic. I find it fun to get into a rubber boat and go careening down a rocky river, just to say I did it. Why then does the prospect of moving to Kansas City fill me with such apprehension? It boggles my mind. So, on the way home, I asked Jeff about it. Both of us were stumped, so I did what I actually should have done in the first place. I prayed. I asked God why I was so afraid of the prospect of going to Kansas City, whether or not I should go there, and what I should do next. Then, I listened...


It's amazing to me how many people, when they pray, NEVER SHUT UP LONG ENOUGH TO LET GOD ANSWER!!! I mean, I've heard a prayer like this before: "Dear God, I want to thank you for today, and giving us good whether....." and they went on and on and on and on...... then they concluded with: "and if you would please tell me what I should do, that'd be great." Then they opened their eyes and began another conversation with the people in the room. I mean for crying out loud, they ask for God to answer and never give Him a chance to!



Well, before I go into a flippin' sermon here, what are you supposed to do when you desperately need direction and God is silent? When you cry out in the darkness for God to answer and you hear nothing in return? That is where I was on the return trip from Kansas City. I was not only entering the unknown, but I felt like I was trying to face it, completely alone.


Now, before I go on, this is going to seem scattered but I promise it'll all connect later on. The other night I was talking to a mentor of mine and he had asked me if I would be interested in possibly leading a chapter by chapter bible study at my old church once a week. I told him that I probably wouldn't be the best choice for that at this time because I am in what I called a "spiritual funk". I told him that no matter how much I pray, read the Bible, wait, do, say, or hope, I still hear nothing from God. I know He's there because the Bible says "I will never leave you nor forsake you" and that is absolutely true. I still see evidence of His hand in my life from time to time, but as far as direct instructions like the old days... a big fat nothin'. He then said something very interesting. He said, "What does God want you to become?" I thought for a second and gave him the answer that I was trained to give. "to become like Christ." I thought for sure he'd see through that and reprimand me for giving such a textbook answer, but instead he said "Right, now is Christ free or a slave?" I said "that's easy, He's free". He said "Caleb, you're free." I didn't know exactly what he meant at first, but he continued. "Caleb, you've proven yourself faithful to God, that you know what's right and wrong, and that you'll DO what is right. He no longer has to tell you what to do, you already know. God's basically saying 'You make a decision, and I'll bless you with whatever you decide'."


Wow, talk about a new level of realization, as well as responsibility. I mean, before, I didn't have to worry about making the wrong decision. If things went belly up, I could just claim I did my best to follow instructions, but now I have the weight of decision making on my own shoulders.


You know what's interesting, as I sit here and write this, I just realized that the last thing that I was told was "God will honor the decisions I make, and help me out. Strange to think that the God who knows each star by name because He created them all, that the God who holds the universe together, who imagined the colors of the sunset and made it happen, also knows my name and promises to "strengthen me and help me, to uphold me with His righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) Why do I have to fear anything? Why do I need to be scared about venturing forth into the unknown? Why do I need to fear going to Kansas City? Why do I need to be afraid? I do not! I have nothing to fear! Then why am I still afraid.....?


This is a new experience for me, and I now have to do the most terrifying thing... going forward alone and trusting that God will take care of me.

A wave of peace just washed over me as I wrote that.


-The Sailing Preacher