This past Saturday, I accomplished what many never do. I graduated from a 4 year university with a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication with an emphasis in public speaking. If it seems like a mouthfull or that it was hard, don't let the title fool ya, they usually do. It was very easy; partially because I thrive at public speaking and partially because my expectations were low. About a year ago, a professor of mine told me that in the corperate world, no one cares what your GPA is, they only care whether or not you have a degree, experience, and are able to produce results. The only time a GPA matters is if you're trying to get into higher schooling. Anyway, I arrived at the graduation about an hour and fifteen minutes early, then spent the rest of the time before the ceremony talking to other graduates. I talked to one girl who had double majored in Spanish and Political Science, and found out she was headed to law school eventually. I also talked to a guy who I actually took some classes with, who got a degree in Mass Comm, with an emphasis in media management, and he had a couple interviews but was taking the summer off to try and recover from the last couple years. I found a friend who was continuing to grad school and hoped to become a communication professor AT Lindenwood University. I also talked with a girl who got a degree in Criminal Justice and wants to go into the FBI. The interesting part of her story is that she had a baby not even 9 months prior to graduation. Somehow, she was able to work almost full time as a server AND be a mom AND still find the time and energy to get her college degree. That astounded me. Other things that caught my attention were the number of people who were non-traditional students getting their degrees. They decided that even though they had started their lives already, it was not too late to improve themselves even further. They each found themselves faced with a mountain, and each of them conquered theirs and each of their faces beamed with pride at their accomplishment. Why is it that even though I too was among those graduates, I don't feel the least bit proud of what I've done?
Over four years ago, I remember driving up to the campus of Missouri Baptist University with my friend Joe and we were completely energized at 8 AM to be going to our first class in college. This past Saturday, I walked across a stage in front of 7,000 people, both fellow classmates and their families, shook the hand of the president of the university, and got my picture taken with my diploma cover (we don't get to pick up the actual diploma for a couple more weeks). I had done it. I had conquered my mountain. Why then do I sit in fear of an onset of depression? Why do I feel the mountain that I just climbed seem like it was nothing but a big hill? It was supposed to be tough. It was supposed to stimulate the mind, and challange the intellect. However, I don't feel like the challange was there. I don't see the huge mountain to climb. The NFL lineman to get past. The gallon of milk to chug. Perhaps that's why in my mind, my college degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on. Perhaps that's why I felt that by sitting among the 700 other college graduates, and looking around at some of the people recieving their degrees, I wondered what was so special in what I had accomplished. For some, it took everything they had just to stumble across the finish line and get that paper. For others, they just let the time slip by doing just the minimum to get the degree so they could get a job when they got done, caring nothing about the learning. Why even go to college at all. Some people receiving degrees BLEW MY MIND because of the amount of alcohol consumed and the parties attended. When they had time to do their work will remain a mystery to me. As for me, the education itself was the most important part, but perhaps that's why I feel cheated. I'm not going to chase that rabbit as a favor to you. Trust me, I could go off on my second Sailing Preacher Rant, but that's not for now.
Anyway, the next step in my journey takes me to seminary and beyond. It's supposed to be very tough to do, as most masters work is and even tougher still because it's a 3 year program rather than just two, and the subject matter is very diverse. Still, I don't feel like the challange is going to be there. I mean, just about every preacher in the country has a masters of divinity and that takes away from the difficulty, and shrinks the mountain even further. I honestly believe that the only educational mountain that exists for me is a doctorate degree of some sort. Few have it, it takes a lot of work to achieve, and carries with it a certain understanding that you have "arrived". Plus, how cool is it being called Doctor! My brother is headed into med school and doesn't really like that, but he can kiss my degree holding butt! Wait, take that back... it creates a wierd mental picture. Anyway, I suppose the only thing I can do is find little hills to tackle until seminary starts and I can begin attacking the proverbial Rockies. This does beg the question... when I do get my doctorate, what then? I suppose by that time I'll have more answers and I guarantee that you'll be reading about any new discoveries as they arise.
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2 comments:
Why do you look at things as always a mountian that needs to be climbed? To others, you have climbed a mountian, but to you it is a hill. Look at it this way my dear friend..if you are a beginner hiker, would you take the hardest path in front of you? or would you take the easier of them? Most would go for the easier of them because they feel it would be the quickest way to the top with the less effort. You decided to take a path that you thought would be a little harder but it proved not to be the challenge you were seeking...would that be because you are a well seasoned hiker? When your mind is in shape and hasn't lost the information and education that it has retained from Highschool it is always a little easier to step forward on that hard path. Whos to say that even after seminary you might still not feel challenged...do you need to be? If so...look to God for the challenge you seek, I am sure he can fufill your request. I am sure in the years to come you will come to many mountians, but once you are over them, you will feel as if they were a pebble under your shoe, because that is the grace of the Lord. He teaches you your steps, gives you strength and guideance when needed, and once you have overcome the obstucals in front of you, you will realize it wasnt as bad as you thought it was going to be.
Well said.
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